whoa....something went wrong.....

I have to admit....I am 32 years old, have THE best huband and MOST wonderful son, and thought our life was SO happy and great!  Don't get me wrong, I am still HAPPILY marrriend and have the most wonderful son in the world, but as this "bug" or "illness" has taken over my body the past 6 months, I must admit, I have lost some serious lust for life.  I feel batter, beatten down, and on my knees pleading for answers more days than not....today as I was looking at my frail unusually thin body, the sunken eyes, frail mindset and through tears asked my hubby "how did I get to this!?!"  How did I allow six months of undianosed, misdiagnosed and other nonsense let me stop LIVIING life!  I have litterally been afraid to leave my house, afraid of seeing friends and even family.  Never in my life have ever experienced those fears.  Even though it's been one HELL of a tough 6 months I have committed to my husband, my son and myself, that I am NOT going to stop living my life...just cause I'm sick doesn't mean we can't get creative in the fun we do.  So please if you see out and about and I look rather scary or avoid coming over to talk, It's not personal, please know it's just this sickness, but that I am not giving in anymore!  I want to get back the vibrant, lively girl I was 6 months ago!